bleahs.
sch is just superrrrrrrr tiring.
and i miss zylla like shit.
and there is reallie nuthing much fer me to say.
and yeay!
ilove salmah wanzhen and dinie!
yeahhhheeehs! :D
i'll be off fer kl during the weeekend.
i wont be doing much shopping!
but instead swimswimswim.
and shall go tannn!
and read my book!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
and holidaes cuming.
thou i noe many of you,
ur holidaes started!
sucky la sehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

nvm.
iloveyoubaby.//

case close.
shant tok animore.




PATCHED.



is qim happy?
ask her yourself.



thankyou to those extremely nice ppl.
who is not superficial.
and who was totally there for
me to reallie cry on.
thankyou so much.


zyllaaaa! <3
wanzhen! <3
salmah! <3
dinieee! **
atok fidaee! **
syazwan! **
nigel! **
kholid! **
lange!
hafiz!
faris!
seri!
liyana!
that sumone hu claims to be
Qim's Secret Admirer!
my whole class!
and to the whole world.
to those who even, just texted.
asking if i was alrite.
thankyou sooo much.

fuck la.
ive just got so much to express.
its all bottled up.
one moment i miss him like fuck.
next, i just feel like asking him to fuck off.
baby im sorry.
okay, now i feel like crying.
ahh fuck//
i really dont know wad i want.
like seriously.
im pretty much okay now.
but wen i stare into the air.
i see visions of him.
visions of us hugging tight.
and fuckkk
and that's wen i wana cry out loud.
then one moment i can be smilling
and talking bout -insertNAMEShere-
and it takes me one second.
i can start crying again.
fuck siaa
so wad exactly do i need.
and do i want?
i cant ans that pls.
stop asking me.





in my diary,
its filled with the expressions of love,
that i still have for baby.
page after page, i scribbled.
babyboo, i need you.
but babyboo, you hurt me too much.
babyboo before you fade away,
i shout ILOVEYOU.
ive been contradicting myself like too much.
the words in my diary writes
and actions i do contradicts.




fuck, i sound emo.
sorry world.
this entry is filled with too many
of the word FUCK. (total 9)
im just very much not myself.


did i also tell you that i saw HER*
on tuesday at bishan.
very near the 7eleven.
the bus stop at mrt.
the feeling was horrible.
almost broke down again.
but i realise i ran out of tissues.
horrible bitch i hate!
haaas!

pssst ; i like kinder bueno and peanuts M&Ms

its been terrible.
mondae was worst.
i was just like tis zombie.
walking ard.
drapped in a big teeshirt.
and jacket.
and many packets of tissues in the bag.
one sec i was in the canteeen looking at everyone eat.
den the nex. i just dashed out.
crying like shit alreadi.



it happen wen i was in tutorial and
just practically everywher.
and i was flooded with chocs.
they were super nice.
on tuesdae. afta 2 daes of not eating.
wanzhen bought me breakfast.
she practically forced me.
and many ppl came to give mi a hug.
asking me to kip strong.
offering me chocs.
and they were my favourite kinds of chocs.
trust me. he dont noe wads my fav choc. ):
yesterdae afta work.
fidaee and syazwan tokked to me.
till pretty late.
there were there to listen too (:
todae, wednesdae. i feel so much betta.


im trying to smile.
everyone said they miss the
smile and contagious grin that
i always spread to the whole world. (:


thankyou world.
its all in a mess
=/

very contradicting.
the last post was 2 mths.
and todae.






ITS OVER,





heartbreaks are terrible.

its thatTWOMONTHS!


weeeeeeeeeeeee.
lets try to be happie dear girl.
qim shud smile more often rite world?
:D

im in sch.
im having lessons.
and i dun feel like
attending the nex tutorial.
hello everyone! :D

geeez.
ok im in datperiod moood again.
// :D
i nid chocs ppl!
hint hint hint**
life's beeeeen stagnant.
pretty much mundane.
the same thing dae in dae out.
told myself nt to expect much.
but afta all.
im dat kinda girl.
(: ohhh shrughs.
i reallie feeeel super duper touched laaa.
ppl still do text me and asked.
so qim. hows things. getting betta?
dun be down laaa.
dat kind of msg frm all angles.
like omgggg. ppl do reallie care.
unlike -insertnamehere-
lovelovelovelove.



nyp asked me to be sum stupid
ambassador fer the sch.
studpid laaa.
got photoshooooot and all.
and its super troublesome.
i ignore everything laaaa.
lalalalalaaa.
i like to smile.
like u alreadi duno.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
<3

geeeez.
dearest world.
im in a much bettttta period now.
hahahahs.
its ok la i spose.
making up is always the sweeetest part.
right zylla?
darn i miss dat girl.
she is having camp laaa.
while im camping and crying away.
ok no more crying readi laa.
beeet betta.


whole sch saw qim crying laaa.
ok dats like abit too much,
i noe whole lecture saw.
hahahahs.
janice came and sit beside me while
candy was slping away.
den janice moved.
and eddy sat beside me.
dengs laa.
the whole class was pretty swit.
they were providing tissssues la can!
hahahahs.
den its like.
i never know dat everyone actualie cares.
till my inbox super full.
both with baby's msgs and the whole world.
reallie la.
i felt super touched.
thankyou world! :D
got like 5 ppl came down to my work plc.
offered me hugs.
and they made me cry more la.
i was totally touched.
nadiah and afiq tooo helped (:
salmah with her forever sweetness.
seri fer surprising me with a kol.
alot of unknown numbers with the
qim are u ok text msgs.
thankyou laaa.
i cant possibly hug u like fer nuts.
im smilling like finally.
aftaaaa dose few horrible daes.
heeees.


i love you ppl laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(:
i lurve baby too!
i miss and love nurjazzylla like shit.
and i love wanzhen fer just being her!
:D

hello again. =/
im not feeling ani betta den yesterdae.
but i cried like shit.
three nites in a row now.


just afta dat post.
i had many msgs cuming in.
kept asking if i was ok.
thankyou everyone for actuallie caring.
wanzhen once said.
darling, its ok if he doesnt care.
you've got real frens who care
and still look out for you.
dat crack a tiny smile afta
many thunderstorms.


im feeling extremely terrible todae.
i cudnt even get out of bed to go sch.
bt i cannot skip sch AGAIN.
so i dragged myself out.
left hse drapped in his jacket.
hoping to find comfort.


i wont give up easily.
but i dun tink i will bother much
afta todae.
its all reallie up to you now.
at times i gave up hoping.
i gave up expecting.
i wud even think if im expecting too much.
but no. im just expecting the basics.
or even just wads expected of a boyfren.
i never asked for aniting more.
take your time and tink bout it baby.
its reallie up to you.
=/



im tired of crying and
doing ALOT of thinking.
im tired of being all alone
everynite feeling dat emptyness.
it feels extremely lonely.
its eating me out. shrughs.

trust me it was shitty.
i had lunch yesterdae.
it took me just dat lunch.
to realise the reality of life.
love?
i hate dat word.
for it brought many misery.
am i dreaming away?
i tink i was blinded.
irreplaceable, baby.



to you,
do you really love me?
everyone is very protective of me.
all they wanted was to see me happie.
and am i happie nw?
ask urself.
also they wanted sumone to love me
and reallie care and appreciate me.
but you're not doing just that.
they question me.
i had nuthing to fight back for.
i cudnt even stand up fer you.
you cannot ALWAYS be tooo busy to fetch me rite?
you cannot always be tooo tired to fetch me too rite?
den wad can i sae to dem?
it was to the extend of MY MUM asking you noe.
wads dis? i had to avoid my mum's eye contact.
i reallie dint noe hw to face her.
and wad to tell her..
think bout it baby..


gudnite world.
i cried like shit last nite.
it made my eyes FARRR to swollen to attend sch.
so takecare.
and reallie. find ur happiness ppl.
(:

lemme warn you first.
im gona be a big bitch here.
hus the lil prick here SECONDARY TWO GIRL?
mind wad you say alrite?
dun mess ard. :D
and yes.
you got a horible one mth celebration.
ask urself.
do u deserve a gud one?
i msged you. and told u before.
be a better girlfren fer him to appreciate.
u just dint bother did u?
with just dat looks you have.
do u tink he cares?
he can get betta girls ani minute.
love frm heart.
not from face.
ure not dat pretty either darling.
so yeaa. treasure him before losing him.
and reason im telling u tis is becoz
ure gona regret once u lost him :D

u reallie have to mind ur werds.
qim's a bitch :D
dun be a bigger bitch to her alrite?
u wont win. cumon.
get a life.
ive gone mine already :D
and ure the lil prick here.
or do u nid me to include
your ''NICE'' name here?


lalalalalla.
ive got adventure club tmr!
weeeeeeeeeeeee.
qim's gona get all sporty. :D
went wdlands library earlier to study.
with baby. butt. hahahas.
i cudnt study. coz he kept disturbing la pls.
and the amt of mats there.
sucha killer!
i lurve baby! :D
<3
i hearts nurjazzylla too la pls.
she is my whole world. :D

weeeeeeeeeeeeee.
the mly horror movie was stupidd
i dint scream.
but shut my eyes manymany times!
baby hugged me tight.
and suddenly nudge me. kip disturbing me la pls!
hahahahs
i kept eating nanchos during dose scary moments.
cudnt be bothered.
lucky thing dint have ani nightmares.
hahahahahs
weeeeeeeeee.
reached home pretty late laa.
we had starbucks at united square.
and dats where baby spilled almost half of
his hazelnut hot choc on his khakis pants.
hahahahahahahs
cute laaa.
and so he said he nids to bring my jacket home
to cover the stains.
it looks like his is having mensus frm the frnt laa!
hahahahahahhas
:D
i had my yami icecream yoghurt.
nice laa. and kfc fer supper.
hahahahahahahas
:D

dats all.
happie moments i love
:D

hello world :D



its been the cold rainy days again.
and im drapped and wrapped
in baby's jacket.
lalalalalalla.
and ive been paying attention in all lectures.
impressive huh?
i work closing last nite.
and dis morning lesson starts at 8.
its tiring.
but afta sooo long.
i hog on the fone again la.
and it felt tremendously gud.
heees. :D
im meeting zylla at eleven.
cos sumone just hafta make her cry.
go and die laaa all u ppl.
im gona hug her tight.
babe! i lurve u like manymany elephats okies!
:D


i teared yesterday.
onlie three ppl in the world noes whye.
boooohooooo.
crunch!


im gona watch dat mly horror movie
with baby 2mr! :D
i hope im released from work on time la.
and im the new coookie monster.
nyehehehehes. :D


school have been sucky.
but its much betta den last week.
dinie updates me.
and its like
the otha dae. i went late fer class
i was at the garden fountain
with dearest candy.
and the msged passed fast.
ppl noe i was at dat
garden fountain.
how sucky.



ohh wells.
like wad candy said.
ive got ppl ard me hu love and care.
therefore.
i shud be a happie gooober.
lalalalaaaa!


:D
i lurve boyfee.
i lurve my sweet,zylla
i lurve my candy,wanzhen.
i lurve all you ppl!
:D